Cordova, TN - I pulled up to my Walmart location in Cordova, TN, ready to pick up my Shark Steam Mop that my wife had ordered online. She had a seen a deal for the Shark Steam Mop online, she did a quick price comparison, cause she's a smart dame, and saw that Wal-Mart was $5 cheaper. Damn you Wal-Mart for always being cheaper! I said to her "Babydoll, order that up and I'll go pick it up when they email us" (between now and 4 hours from now)
We got back from eating out and what should arrive? The email, I was gone. As I walked in, I remembered my email's third instruction "Look for 'Walmart.com Services' in directional signs throughout the store." As I entered, I saw no such signage.
I wandered over to the Customer Service counter. There she was, the woman with the answers. As I sauntered on up to the desk, I began with "My wife ordered something online and I'm here", but before I could finish, she held up her finger and said "Photos in the back".
"By electronics?" I asked.
A nod of the head and a mumbled "ahuh" led me to believe I was on the right path.
Electronics/Photos at this particular Wal-Mart are in the back of the store. I packed my rations, and began my journey. While weaving through the Saturday night Wal-Mart crowd I kept looking for this signage that was promised to me from the Email. Finally, as I finished my search of the Electronics area, tucked off to the side is a "PHOTO - walmart.com services" sign. Downhill from here!
I walked up to the counter remembering step #4 from the Email, "Use the touch screen at the Walmart.com Services desk to call for assistance". With my finger ready to touch the screen, there was a problem. There appeared to be no touch screen. I looked up to find a sign that said "Use the touch screen at the Walmart.com Services desk to call for assistance." with an arrow pointed to the desk in front of me. Where there was no touch screen! Wait, there is a credit card scanner on the POS station there. No, it couldn't be the credit card touch screen. There has to be a touchscreen around here. I mean, maybe it is the credit card touch screen. No, come on this is silly, its a credit card machine. What's it gonna hurt to try? I TRIED TOUCHING THE CREDIT CARD TOUCH SCREEN TO GET HELP FROM AN ASSOCIATE AT WALMART. Spoiler Alert, it didn't work and I called myself some pretty bad names for letting my finger touch that screen.
After berating myself for a good 30 seconds for what a dumbass move that was, I decided to take action. Hippie Bob, you know the long haired, bearded guy who works in about every electronics department, everywhere, was walking by. I basically grabbed him, and inquired what I should do given that there is no touch screen where I had been assured, TWICE, in written form that there would. Bob directed me to the electronics section where the guy working there could help me, "I'd help you but, I'm heading on break". (Sam Walton just rolled over in his grave)
I then walked baaaack over to Electronics, looked the same as when I passed it on the way in. There was Charles. I had faith that Charles would bring it home for me. I mentioned that I had an online order, he perked up (older gentleman) and took me right baaaaack over to the walmart.com area. He grabbed his "thinking" stool, sat down in front of the POS, and then asked me for my order number. I opened the email my wife had sent to me and said "I don't see an order number here"
"Gotta have an order number, begins with 877 some numbers dash -286 some numbers" he replied.
I scanned the email again. I didn't see any numbers, all I saw were the 4 instructions and a message to Charles, my Walmart Associate.
I showed Charles the email with it's sacred four instructions:
"Could you try scanning it to see if that would work?" I asked
"Not gonna work, number isn't right" Charles insisted.
At this point, I'd like you to imagine me looking a lot like the cartoon characters from the looney toons that eats something really hot and has smoke coming out of their ears. HOWEVA, as the good southern folk have taught me, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. (But dead squirrels work best. Charles, just saying...) I call the wife back at the homestead and ask her to please forward me the email of the sale confirmation wal-mart originally sent.
The wife comes through, and Charles, who has grown impatient over this delay, eagerly types away. He has found it, he disappears into the back, and then back out, with my Shark Steam Mop! He DOES check my ID. I totally thought he was gonna miss step 2, cause at this point I didn't have much faith that this email's instructions were followed by anyone other than me. He handed me my receipt and said "You're good to go".
As I approached the front of the store I had two thoughts:
1. Walmart.com saving me time is a load of $h@t.
2. I wonder if the theft alarm is gonna go off as I walk out?
Discussion Questions:
1. How does the recognized logistics king of the world think that putting the pickup area for orders in the back is even remotely efficient?
2. How does the guy who said "We'll just state it clearly that the associate should scan this barcode in the email. A trained monkey could do it!" feel right now? "
3. Why would the author ever expect this to go smoothly? It's Wal-Mart, in Memphis.
Discuss!
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